I've been trying to figure out my mood today. I woke up to the sound of rain in my backyard. Which doesn't sound all that amazing until I point out we haven't had rain of any quantity in maybe six months. Even with the rain the birds were still singing in the tree outside my window. I hadn't expected rain so my boyfriend had to make a quick dash out to the patio to put the flintknapping tool bucket out of harms way. Everything in there will have to be dried out later. But for now he just pushed it under the patio table out of the rain.
My plans to go to the post office and library flew out the window as my old truck doesn't have windshield wipers so I don't drive it in the rain. My boyfriend had an appointment at the beach with a photographer so I find myself home all alone. Too sick to go out, too bored to stay in, you know the drill.
So I read my library book, the Trouble With Magic, for a while, but I found I was dozing off. So I signed on to upload 4 days of daily self portraits. I do take them every day, but I don't necessarily get around to uploading them to the Flickr group every day. When I am sick and bored, it's not much fun doing self portraits, but it's real. It's tempting to skip those days. But the whole point of 'a daily self portrait' is to see the depth of who you are, not just what you look like when you are dressed up and presentable and going out to a party. And sometimes I hate the way I look at the moment of taking it, but months later when I look back on it, it's not so bad as I thought, because our eyes are clouded by our moods at the time. It's hard to watch my face and body aging. So the daily self portrait becomes painful at times. It would be more fun to take them in reverse, starting at 100 and aging backwards. Seeing all the jowls, wrinkles, crows feet, excess weight and sagging gradually going away, like in the movie Benjamin Button.